Assalamualaikum >w<
I'm back desuuuu
Dah berhabuk blog aku ni *tiup tiup*
Tak tahu nak tulis apa .__. Sejak tahun lepas rasa macam hilang semangat for almost everything, especially my study. I don't know, bila nak buka buku, dah baca tu baca. Tapi tak faham T. T tak rasa nak buat itu, tak rasa nak buat ini. I feel hopeless, tak terdaya and a lot stuffs happened.
Then i started to think, aku dah mula ke jalan yg salah. Why is this happening? Why?
Oh, baru aku sedar, I just keep telling lying to myself .__. I didn't being honest, instead keeping it to myself and just doing nothing.
Heh, it feels like everything is over. Sampai tahap tak tahu nak manage masa, tak tahu nak jaga diri, tak tahu.. nak study :<
Kalau bole, aku nak master semua subjek ee! master in understanding la :p calculation tu entah laa...
Kalau bole, aku nak score, nak markah tinggi tinggi.
Then people will say "WHY DONT YOU START?"
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| Gambling battle. Either you are rightly or wrongly doing things |
No, you don't understand, you don't understand for some people who are barely be able to move. Some need a push, not everyone have pure ability to be on their own.
.__. selalu sgt ada dkt worst place, (maybe ada je senang cuma tak sedar kot xD)
You know, i just getting really really worst. People might say "move on bro, sudah sudah la tu, WOKE UP"
Im..im really taking my time for that. Im not good with most things you know :< *mcm budak budak*
But somehow, bila dah makin tua, kita kena buat decision sendiri, kena berdiri atas sendiri. And bila makin tua, people will less care about you, because they know that you are getting stronger. Hahahahaha, entahlah.. for someone like me, i need a push, kalau tak terperuk la aku dkt situ T. T" but, yeah i realize the reality, people don't care if you sit there doing nothing. They will keep moving forward, most of it like "clever with clever", "stupid with nothing". Blame all you can, but this is the reality! Its not like the clever will find you "come lemme help you". Dari zaman dulu dulu lagi, if you want to learn something, go get it. It wont come up to you. Anak raja pun pegi cari ilmu o. o"
Pesan buat diri,
Kalau impikan nak jadi kaya, work hard for it.
Kalau impikan nak jadi suami yg "usable", work hard for it
Kalau impikan nak jadi hmm, yeah the khalifah, work very very hard for it
^. ^" 2 tahun and hundreds years left. Rindukan diri yg dulu yg kuat, study, and boleh buat mcm mcm.
Yang sekarang ni terlalu takut pada realiti.. takut yg amat. Takut ditinggalkan, takut dikhianati, takut di tidak pedulikan, takut friendzoned, takut.. everything. So dia hanya duduk dalam bilik dgn laptop, tablet, dan few stuffs.
.___." hehe, hopeless syauqi is hopeless. I can't even ask someone to have their time for my problem sharing. Because they were too busy and i'm little scared :'v
And i will just slowly find 1 millions of ways to get myself on the track. *i hope i'd find one*
For now, JUST DEAL WITH IT
Ok, .__. sambung study balik.
Nanti datang balik lepas blog ni berhabuk lagi hahahaha.
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| kyaaa! i always dream of being like this. to save someone with all i got >w< |
*guys, i need a reality slap*
sayounara desu~
pena ditutup.
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