Yeah, I love making friends. I tried to have as much as possible friends in this world. Where I believe I could share some happiness, jokes, hardships with them.

But, before I knew it. I was a failure.

Recalled back in 6 years old timeline. The only thing I could remember is my 3 childhood friends.

In the 13 years old timeline. I could only remember myself.

17 years old timeline. I wasn't there.

Friends is somewhat I think I could cry with.

Friends is somewhat I think I could connect myself with.

Success, failure, ups, and downs. Everything with them.

When they were so in need, I was there to help. *I suppose

When they were so out of hands, I was there to pick them up. *I suppose I was.

And then, when everyone go so high to the topmost of the world. It was alone around me.

Wew, I was dumb.

Dumb enough that I was suppose to run together with them reaching top.

Dumb enough that I should care about myself first before them.

Dumb enough that I wasted everything for their smile. Temporary smile.

"Tasukete!" Save me!

But nothing could be heard.

Then, I realized everything. I was so childish. Childish enough to waste my time, energy, everything because they are in trouble. Reality is so cruel when people only looks into your amazement, not your kindness.

Since after that, I removed every single thing called friendship.

I met someone, and I tend to believe in this kind of friendship again. But I was wrong. Wrong.

Dumb.

Because, I failed to understand myself before they could do the same to me.

Since that, I need myself to fix everything rather than waiting for their helps that I had once gave to them.

And to Him I believe that I can do this, and He could help me.

Friendship?

It wasn't real. Unless you are the amazement of blind people.

It wasn't strong. Unless you know what you do, and get things right. Perfectly.

It wasn't there. Unless they understand you, you understand them. And both understand their self.

Until I read this again, I know I was dumb.
Those who understand this, thank you.
Those who didn't, yes I'm crazy.

^mumbles.