I love friends, special friends, and best friends. *and enemies*

Friends also, a cure. And the poison in the same time regardless how special could they be.
The poison comes when both perspective do not alike, and overthinking it is.

I could be the best friend ever to you, but you do?
Inversely, I can be someone that ignores everything. But, the fact that I'm okay to be hurted again and again makes I don't stop ignore everything. A second of my friends' pain counted, cared.

And this useless of me, when tired of everything, will start distancing from everything too when they did.
So that, they could finally forgot me every single second as different as I remember them at worst few months once.

Do I too cruel for this?
I don't know, feeling guilty of hurting others while being hurt and fine with it.

Most importantly, why I always talked about this while others doesn't?
Its going to be fine if I just ignore and live with it. But it makes me not "Syauqi". I'm a guy who cared about small stuffs like feelings, thoughts, opinions, objections and tears.
And this attitude or habit I had, doesn't come from any of my parents. Its totally vice versa, they only do the right thing. But I'm okay bearing that "pain" and live with the right thing. Yet, I still keep complaining about it once in a while. Geez.

.w. I hope, a little understanding from them.
Forgive me for my foolishness, forgive me for my childishness, and forgive me for every small thing that I complaint.

In the end, I just get that "People will come, and go. Once they go, they go forever."

Yeah, I'm working very hard to understand people, and to overcome my overthinking problem. ^^
Pray for me!!! So, for now I'll have just to leave everything behind and start over again.
Live, die, repeat. *ecehh :p *

And to you, ^^" I'm waiting for you to save me.